
Saturday evening, Johnson Street.

So here’s the deal. She can stay where she is, in that inch or so of space between the cabinet and the wall. For my part, I won’t scrunch her up in a tissue and flush her down the toilet, though that would be so easy to do, given that the toilet is, after all, only three feet away. Nor will I trap her in a glass and throw her out the window to fend for herself in the wilderness of the backyard. She, for her part, has to understand – and I don’t mean to give offense, I’m just telling it as it is – that the mere sight of her creeps me out. I don’t want to be rubbing elbows (my two to her eight) in the morning as I brush my teeth or do what little shaving it is that I do. She forgets this from time to time, but a rap or two of the tooth bush on the counter is sufficient to send her scurrying. When I’m not home, I don’t really care what she does. She can watch Oprah and Ellen, or surf the net. Or wait for other bugs to get caught in her web. She is not allowed into the homebrew, but so far this has not been a problem.
And finally this: I keep a messy bathroom; I know and don't need to be told. She is going to have to accept this without complaint.